Love Finds Its Pocket Read online

  Whenever Massimo Jr. took a break from being an active conversational participant, he would unconsciously fold his arms tightly against his chest and wear a scowl that oozed with jealousy that his girl had been, by comparison, so coolly received by the family. Although he wasn’t technically, he tended to behave as would the typical middle child. He harbored a gnawing competitive imperative against Toni who always seemed to grab away his limelight during their childhood. She was more competently athletic, had a sweeter disposition, had always been cuter, and measurably smarter.

  He railed against her because he couldn’t believe that a first born son was being tossed aside as though his existence was somehow not a monumental occasion; she was a mere second daughter, yet stole his limelight at every opportunity. He thought that she should have been the one to feel abandoned by her parents, fighting to prove her relevance after he came into the world but he could recall as early as three years old that he would receive a pat on his little head for doing something spectacular whereas Toni would be scooped up and held fiercely by their father when she did nothing more interesting than fart. That he loved her too only made his resentment of his sister that much more confusing.

  Massimo Jr. pushed away his girlfriend’s hand when she attempted to soothe his obviously hurt feelings. Antonia Sr., also having noticed his angst, walked over to him with a bottle of wine and refilled his glass. She kissed his forehead and softly whispered, ‘ti amo tanto, mio figlio’. He seemed to relax a bit after that – the additional wine also helped, but he continued to sulk and be bothered by his lack of understanding about what, exactly, precipitated the darkening of his mood; he feared he would carry that negativity with him for the rest of his life.

  Some people embody a pervasive bitterness that no manner of love and affection can ameliorate, sincerity of demonstrated love notwithstanding, so become bottomless pits of inconsolable emptiness. His was the variety of sadness and anger borne of sibling jealously, having festered for years, neatly tucked away at a depth to which no one was granted access. He never knew that he was his mother’s favorite and as she felt it was inappropriate to acknowledge it let alone even have a favorite, never divulged that information to anyone – not even to her husband.

  “Nothing would make me happier than to marry your daughter and live the rest of my life with her. You’ve done an outstanding job of raising such a wonderful woman. I’m honored to know and be loved by her.

  “We plan on getting married as soon as it becomes legally possible to do so.” Kat once again smiled broadly as the room erupted in thunderous claps, with the exception of Toni, Massimo Jr. and his wholly neglected paramour, whose mouths were fixedly agape with shock.

  Within the span of two seconds, Kat was lifted out of her chair by Giovanni, who picked her up and twirled her around several times before depositing her in front of his parents, who were eagerly awaiting their turn to congratulate the latest addition to the family. Back on her feet, she was given hugs and kisses by the entire family. Nonno and Nonna were in tears. Toni just shook her head when she saw that Gene and Marcella had already gotten up from their chairs, queuing up to offer their heartfelt congratulations; telling, she thought, that no one thought to congratulate her. She thought her sister should have known better than to participate in Kat’s so shameless an attempt to ingratiate herself with the family, but there it was. Shameless, became the word of the day and although their collective, reciprocal acceptance of one another produced a warm feeling that sprang forth from deep within her core, Toni was amused by the proceedings, believing the family would have made any excuse to engage in physical contact with Kat, the merit of which was indisputable.

  On that monumental day, Kat had officially won the hearts of the Mangiarmi family and in retrospect, Toni would calm down and leave behind her annoyance once she realized that Kat was so enamored with the prospect of attaining such openhearted, unconditional familial love and acceptance that she would have given or said anything to keep that high going for as long as possible. All Toni had to do to keep her head level and free from the impulse to chastise/criticize, was to picture herself at dinner with Kat’s parents, trying desperately to find their soft spots and a niche in which she could fit, failing miserably each time because they simply were devoid of any such humanity, and imagining how horrible it must have been for Kat to have been raised by such heartless crustaceans. Toni also reminded herself to be a grown-up and exhibit some compassion for her best friend and lover rather than castigating her for implicating her in a scenario in which she had no intention of engaging, future legality of that possibility notwithstanding.

  Toni almost expected Kat to be carried across the room, mosh-pit style. Despite all of her negative thoughts, Toni leaned in for a quick peck once Kat found her way back to her seat after which yet another round of applause erupted at the table. Toni blushed uncontrollably so did what she did best and piled her fork with as much food as it could hold and ate her way into silence.

  “What’s ’a matter, Tone? Cat got your tongue?” Giovanni asked of his unusually quiet sister.

  Toni began to blush an even deeper shade of red, wishing she could vanish from the room until she was able to regain control over her emotions. She and Kat used almost that exact phrase as code, whenever in public, to let the other know that she wanted to get laid. She thought he was either incredibly prescient or just got lucky in being able to make her imminently less comfortable.

  Kat saw her lover’s discomfort growing geometrically so gave her a seated hug, positioning Toni’s face away from the table, which would allow her at least some measure of privacy. To the table, Kat simply explained “I’m sorry, but I think all of this attention has embarrassed my little muffin”, to which Toni responded by disengaging from the embrace to give Kat a steely glare as the table once again exploded with irrepressible laughter, Giovanni immediately capitalizing on Toni’s new nickname. He intended to squeeze the maximum allowable mileage out of devising numerous variations on the ‘muffin’ theme. If teasing were an investible commodity, Giovanni would be first in line to plunk down his entire fortune for an opportunity to get a laugh. Buying bridges and trading up for beans without first conducting his due diligence were characteristic of Giovanni’s prankster strategy.

  “Che cosa significa, questo ‘muffin’” – “Eh, eh, Massi, come si dice ‘muffin’ in Italiano’” asked both Nonna and Nonno respectively to further, massively gut-busting explosions of laughter, this time even from Massimo Jr. and his pouty-faced, overly made-up girlfriend. Toni alone sat in stony silence, stewing in her embarrassment.

  Antonia placed her hands over her mouth to cover her smile, and shield Toni from witnessing her active participation in the furtherance of the mortification proceedings but she found Kat’s rapport and the comfort she exhibited with her daughter and the rest of the family to be so endearing, so natural, that it was hard not to get caught up in the joy of the moment.

  She knew how difficult this evening was for Toni; everyone remembered the Monica debacle, a historical stain in which repetition would have been met with familial insurrection, so Toni had read them the riot act that they were to be nice to Kat no matter what. She couldn’t possibly have guessed that the entire family would fall in love with her over dinner, rendering Toni a mere fuzzy speck sitting at the table with a red face and a fork in her hand.

  The combination of excellent food, flavorful wine, the love of her life sitting by her side, and warm, free-flowing conversation shared with the least judgmental people she had ever encountered, were things Kat had only dreamt about, never daring believe it was possible to attain it all, simultaneously. She let slide the sneer, just shy of hatred look that had intermittently taken up residence on Massimo Jr.’s face. She intended to work on him separately; he was, after all, a man and all a man ever really wanted was open acknowledgment of his prowess and worth and as she was adept in spades at doing just that, knew they would eventually find a common ground and reconcile their
respective places within the family with as little residual animosity as possible. There would be plenty of time to heal that festering wound so she let his disturbing grimace leave her consciousness for the evening lest it ruin her elated mood. This was an experience she’d never before encountered nor thought conceivably possible given the bleak, comparatively chilly and sarcastic environment in which she was raised.

  Toni’s previous conversations with Kat regarding the topic of marriage were all of a firmly noncommittal nature, neither one needing or wanting to formalize/legalize their union in order to legitimize it. ‘Marriage is for breeding straight couples – their concept, their need, not ours!’, was their oft-repeated rallying cry. But given this new information, the unveiling of Toni’s family, Kat wanted badly to extend their union in as formal a direction as possible. She would convince Toni to marry her by whatever means were at her disposal; she never before wanted anything as badly. She decided to start slowly by broaching the topic via the route of first obtaining a domestic partnership license. Baby steps and infinite patience.

  In the car on their way back to the ferry terminal, Kat leaned in to kiss Toni’s ear and after gently pressing her tongue within it whispered, “I can’t wait to get you home, my love. Prepare yourself – I’m going to fuck you senseless.”

  Having glanced up and caught their interchange from the rearview mirror, Giovanni nearly jammed his foot down on the accelerator. He quickly returned his attention to the road lest he subject them all to a fatal car crash, gripped the wheel tightly and took several slow, deep breaths hoping to regain his composure; none of his reaction was lost on Gene.

  ******

  “I’ll help you clean up, ma,” Giovanni said once he returned from the ferry terminal after having dropped off his sisters and their mates – this time driving the family sedan.

  “Not necessary, Gio. I enjoy this part of the process of entertaining. I think it gives closure to an evening’s festivities.”

  Antonia was mopping the floor as table clear-off and dish cleaning duty had been accomplished by the party collective, prior to anyone agreeing to leave. The end of evening straightening up and doggie-bag packaging ritual had become an event in and of itself.

  “So, that Kat’s really somethin’, right? I mean, Toni’s lucky to have caught that fish.” Giovanni spoke as he collected the folding chairs to store in the hall closet.

  Antonia stopped mopping to take a good, hard look at her son. She knew him well enough to know that he had already fallen madly in love with Kat and was interested in opening a Kat-related conversation. She knew where his comment was heading and although he should have known better than to think his mother would ever sanction his overture to reclaim Kat away from his sister, perhaps he just needed to verbalize his feelings or have his mother smack him down, figuratively or otherwise, for having the audacity to even consider stealing away someone else’s mate.

  “You are a thirty year old man, figlio mio. You are also a very good-looking man with such a kind heart. Why don’t you find a suitable girl of your own and settle down? It’s time you grew up, don’t you think?” Antonia decided to take the long way around that conversational bend.

  “Ah ma, you know I ain’t ready to settle down just yet. We finally got the business to start makin’ some real money. I haven’t saved enough yet to get married.”

  “Oh? Then why are you asking for my blessing to steal Katherine away from your sister?” Antonia stared him down with her patented steely glare.

  “Ah, come on ma. I ain’t lookin’ to steal her away.” Giovanni made another trip to the closet, primarily to avoid his mother’s insightful eyes. He continued to speak only after reaching a safe distance. A light ripple of shivers extended the length of his spine.

  “It’s just that I never felt this way about any other woman before; you know what I mean?” He kept his head turned, not wanting to make eye contact with his mother’s disconcerting death-stare.

  “What I know is that you’d better keep your hands to yourself. Katherine isn’t like any other woman you’ve ever known because you’d never find her in the places you go to pick-up women – basta, stai zitta!; you know I’m right. You need to expand your horizons, figlio mio. If you don’t want to date a bar rat, then you’ll have to stop looking in the bars.”

  “But I’m workin’ with Dad and Massi and a few day laborers so I ain’t meetin’ any women on the job – well, maybe a few clients, but...” He stopped speaking again when he felt the heat of anger fly off of his mother’s head, which nearly knocked him to the floor. Perhaps, he thought, she doesn’t need to know all the sordid details of his escapades, so quickly regrouped as he didn’t want to lose her now.

  “I’ve already had, I mean I already know all the girls in the neighborhood and none of them is right for me. So where am I supposed to go to meet the right woman? Church? That ain’t happenin’.”

  Antonia had difficulty reconciling the disparity between how much he looked like his father versus how very different in romantic maturity they were. She needed to pause to collect her thoughts and consciously remind herself that her son was his own man and should be treated accordingly. There he was, tacitly asking her for guidance; she didn’t agree with his premise but her heart ached for him just the same. Feeling helpless was unacceptable to her and although her pride preceded her into any room, she wasn’t above asking for help when her bag of tricks turned out empty.

  “Why don’t you ask for Gene’s help in...” Antonia was cut-off mid sentence before she could finish her thought.

  “What? You kiddin’ me? I mean, he’s a real nice guy and everything but he’s too old; it would be like askin’ Dad for advice about women.

  “Gene the Wing Man. Yeah, right. Nothing personal ma, but no way.” Giovanni finally looked up at his mother, whose gaze, although still intensely penetrating, was also infused with such compassion for him that Giovanni almost started to cry.

  “But he’s not your father. When Toni was going through a difficult time, she asked for his advice; she said he helped her to see things more clearly. He’s brilliant and he’s worldly. What do you think he was doing before he settled down with your sister? Twiddling his thumbs?

  “He’ll be able to put you on the right track – help you find the right woman. There’s no shame in reaching out for help, figlio mio.” Antonia grabbed him, giving him a rib-cracking hug, hoping to absorb some of his pain into her self.

  “You wouldn’t be thinking about Katherine like this if you weren’t ready to find the right woman for you.

  “Call your sister and tell her you’re ready to start the renovation of their bathroom - with Gene’s assistance, of course. The two of you will be working side by side for a few days so will be able to bond. Talk to him man-to-man. He can help you. Trust me.

  “Katherine is off-limits to you. She’s clearly in love with your sister and vice versa so you need to be a good man and keep your distance.” Antonia stared directly at him as she spoke, clearly concerned when he put his head back down, refusing to return the courtesy of maintaining eye contact.

  “If you don’t, then you’ll lose them both. Katherine is the type of woman who will cut you out of her life for good and never look back if you disrespect her like that. Capisci?”

  Giovanni stole a moment to check whether his mother’s intimidating eyes were still upon him although he should have known better because he could feel their power penetrating his skull. She held up her hand, bitch-slap style, ready to pounce, repeatedly if necessary, if he continued to insist that he somehow had a right to Kat simply by virtue of his gender.

  Giovanni had nicknamed that particular gesture of his mother’s her ‘mid-rise bitch-slap’ pose, doing a spot-on impersonation of her to the raucous laughter of each of her children including Massimo Sr., but only when he knew his wife wasn’t within ear shot. As a child, Giovanni found that hand of hers to be a force worthy of pants-shitting fear but as a grown man, he knew she had no intention
of using it on him but rather kept her hand held high to convey the strength of her convictions.

  He knew his mother was right although he was having difficulty shaking his feelings of envy - that he too should have been able to snag a woman as wonderful as Kat and that he should be allowed to make his overture and give her the opportunity to reject him outright or dump his sister and ride off into the sunset with him on his Harley.

  “One more time, figlio mio - Katherine is a good woman and I forbid you to say anything to her. She is family now so you no longer have any chance of ‘winning’ her heart. You’ll have to go out and find your own woman.

  “And figlio mio, your soul mate will not be the girl sitting alone at the bar with a mug of beer in one hand and a shot of whiskey in the other.

  “You need to change your venue; then you’ll start meeting a better class of woman – someone you would be proud to have come in and leave this house through the front door.” Antonia hoped that zinger would rattle him from his stagnation, stinging mightily the deeper it sunk into his thick skull.

  ******

  Chapter 3

  Lesbian Bed-Death Strikes Again!

  “Oh no you don’t, Toni. Sit up!” Kat insisted when she heard Toni’s breathing become slow and deep.

  “Huh? What?

  “Oh, why’d you wake me up? I’m exhausted. I’ve had a long day and need to get some sleep.” Toni was groggy, her head spinning from having had one of the worst, longest, most demanding days that she’d ever had. Sex was out of the question and she was angry that Kat was being so adamant.

  “Toni, I’m not kidding. This nonsense has been going on for two-weeks already. Abstinence will take on a life of its own if we don’t stop its momentum, so please sit up, okay?” Kat was naked and throbbing mightily although her growing impatience with Toni was working against her more amorous leanings.